So, I was sitting in front of my computer screen, watching Keith Olbermann's show, when the telephone rang. Lo and behold, it was my internet provider! And, for that matter, phone provider. A nice-sounding woman named Ida thanked me profusely for taking her call (How could I not? I don't have caller ID on my home phone.). She was calling to tell me all about the wonderful offer her company was making regarding their television services and to ask me if I might be interested. I told her I don't have a television. There was an audible stumble of incredulity. Professional that she obviously is, she recovered. "Do you plan to buy one in the near future?" she asked. "No way," I replied with a laugh. Well, that just totally flummoxed her. I could hear the gears in her head grinding, the teeth shearing off. The mental but-but-but of someone who just can't conceive of the notion that someone wouldn't want a television. Wouldn't want access to all the wondrous shows it provides.

The really great thing? She just totally gave up. Immediately. She was beaten, and she knew it. "O.K., well, thanks again for taking my call. Have a great evening." I didn't have the heart to tell her that I would.