You know you live in a fancy apartment building when you've got a doorman out front. I've got shrubs. Small shrubs at that.

And - this just in - speaking of guarding the gates, it's evidently going to be a good idea to be a white christian if you're planning to visit the U.S. anytime in the future. Otherwise, who knows?

Ever wondered what it was like in Germany in, oh, the early 1930s? Thankfully, the Germans actually study, and understand, history. Evidently, not so much in the U.S.